I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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