Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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