Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
