i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
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Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
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Why can't burritos get me drunk
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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