I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
tonight lets celebrate not being married
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
