just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
