Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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