So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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