I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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