I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
