I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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