my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
