this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Randomize
