Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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