Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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