so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I have surprise drugs for everyone
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
