Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
