oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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