put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
