Heybabeimwearingurpanties
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
