he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
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