it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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