Who did Billy Mays play for?
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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