I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Randomize