ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
