he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
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