No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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