exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
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his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
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I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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