I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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