Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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