My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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