my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Swine flu is the new snow day.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I just gargled with NyQuil
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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