Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
