SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
