If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
