the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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