Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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