Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
