While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
try to milk me bitch
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
