You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
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