i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
