I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
