That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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