now i know why i became what i already was.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
