I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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