Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
