sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
