I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize
