she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
