you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
