How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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