Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
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just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
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I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that