I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.