it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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