I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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