I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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