Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
