You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
