she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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