So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
