why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
