So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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