yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
