I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
