You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
