New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
