all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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