I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
